The brutal truth about life is that there are some things we can control and others we have no control of. When you resist this truth, you dig a hole for yourself and live with frustrations and anger. People who refuse to accept the fact that life has different dimensions typically fall into two categories – either worrywarts or control freaks. Control freaks belong to a school of thought that they can gain enough control over others and they can prevent any situation from happening. On the other hand, worrywarts fret about everything, from deadly diseases to natural disasters. Neither of these two situations is desirable.
You should avoid putting your time and energy into the wrong places. To stop worrying and take control over your life, here are basic things to do.
Determine what to control
The reality is that there are many things in life you have no control of. You can’t force a storm from happening, you can’t force those along you to change and you can’t control how other people feel, act, and react. Sometimes, all you can truly control is your efforts and attitudes. When you learn to put your energy into the things you can control, you will be happier and effective.
Work on your influence
You may not force things to go your way, but you may have a strong influence on what happens. While you can’t force or make your child to be a good student, you can give them the tools and resources needed to become a better person. To have the most influence over situations, you need to be in control of your behaviors. Always do your best to keep your head high and keep a good attitude. Never be carried away by other people’s opinions. Learn to let it go and move on.
Identify your fears
Is there any chance you are anticipating something wrong may happen? Are you doubting your abilities when approaching a certain situation? This may turn out negative, but will not be as horrible as you may think. You need to identify your fears. When you are anticipating something not so desirable happening, psychologically, you will be better prepared to deal with adversity, and it won’t take much energy away from you.
You need to learn how to differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving. Replaying what happened yesterday and dwelling on it is not going to be useful. You need to evaluate if you are ruminating or solving a problem. It is good to reflect on what happened but only reflects if you are doing so to improve a situation. If you are seeking a solution, evaluate and keep thinking about ways to prevent problems and increase your chances of success.
When you find yourself ruminating, work on changing your thoughts on what you are feeding your brain. Acknowledge the fact that such thoughts are not helpful and pick a different task that will set your mind off from your current thoughts.